


The Banter Wagon

by PhilistiniPhagottini



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Banter, Gen, Humor, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23092129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhilistiniPhagottini/pseuds/PhilistiniPhagottini
Summary: Banter and shenanigans you and the trio get up to while travelling across Wallachia.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	The Banter Wagon

**Author's Note:**

> I have random ideas in the middle of the night and this was spawned. Castlevania is already dark enough, we need some humour to lighten the mood. This kind of doesn't have a point its just witty banter but if enough people like it I would enjoy writing more of this. Hope you enjoy

You stretch your arms above your head, hearing a satisfying pop that made your body sing with relief. You had a restless night’s sleep and the fatigue was slowly setting in. Sleeping in the back of a wagon really wasn't doing your posture any good. Most mornings you'd wake up stiff, sore and sorry. 

You took a deep breath, the cold air of the morning filling your lungs before you expelled it with a heavy sigh. You kept your coat wrapped tightly around you, trying to stave off the cold nip in the air. You could smell the damp in the air, just barely over the smell of old leather and the horses pulling the wagon. The horses trudged dutifully forward despite the thick blanket of fog covering the valley, their hooves flicking up small bits of mud every few minutes. You could hardly see two feet in front of you before your vision was obscured by a sheet of white. 

"The fog is heavy this morning" you mused.

The person sitting beside you only grunted in response the worn, leather reins loose in his grip. The wheels of the wagon creaked, the cart dipping slightly when it rolled over a loose stone in the worn-out trail. Trevor brushed his wild brown bangs out of his eyes, his blue eyes dull and heavy with sleep. You had both been at this since dawn, keeping watch while your other two companions rested. Well, only Sypha actually seemed to sleep through the bumpy ride. The dhampir, Alucard, had claimed that he had been sleeping long enough. While you guarded the front, he kept vigil from the rear. Though you weren't sure how he could see anything through this fog. You were certain not even his superior sight could pierce through the shroud. 

You sighed heavily, your breath coming out in a visible puff. "I can barely see the tip of my nose" you complained.

Trevor yawned loudly, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he flashed his teeth. You had to control the urge to suddenly yawn too.

"Quit whining. We'll make it" he responded with a grunt. 

It was obvious that the weather didn't deter him. Nothing would at this point. You were on a mission to save Wallachia from the night horde. Every precious minute counted. You couldn’t afford to waste anytime because of a little bit of fog. Sure, as the hours ticked by it would eventually clear up and it would be sunshine and clear skies. But at the moment, you couldn't enjoy any scenery. The world looked dull and boring. At least the horses were nice to look at. You'd only been with them for a brief time but you grew fond of the noble steeds. You had even given them names. Trevor had called you childish and you politely told him to piss off. 

"This fog is as thick as curdled milk" you said.

"Never took you for a poet" Trevor replied, twisting the reins in his hands idly. 

You flashed him a grin, your eyebrows wriggling playfully.

"Oh, but I am. Wanna hear a limerick?"

He glanced at you from the corner of his eye. There was a part of him that was telling him that this was probably a trap. Yet another part was curious to see where this was heading. He rolled his shoulders, offering you a small shrug as he trained his eyes forward once more. 

"Sure."

You clapped your hands together with glee, your eyes shimmering with a hint of mischief. You took a deep breath, placing a hand over your chest for theatrical effect as you spoke in a loud and clear voice: 

"Trevor, Trevor-what a prick. He is such a dick."

The only response you got was the loud caw of a crow. There was silence for a brief moment before it was broken by a loud snort from Trevor. 

"Not bad."

You smiled brightly as you chuckled.

"Wanna hear another one?"

"Gods no."

You pouted but his response did nothing to affect your mood. You felt a tap on your shoulder and you turned to see Sypha behind you. Your lips tilted at the corners when you noticed the state of her dishevelled hair and the dark circles under her eyes. 

"Good morning, star shine" you greeted. "Have a nice nap?"

"Couldn't sleep with you two crowing at such an early hour" she replied, voice thick with sleep.

She crawled her way into the front seat, making you scoot over until you were shoulder to shoulder with Trevor. Your nose crinkled when you got a whiff of alcohol mixed with bad morning breath. Definitely not a good smell. You had to stop yourself from physically gagging in front of him. Though part of you was tempted to do it, just to piss Trevor off a little. You did enjoy riling the Belmont up.

"You should get some rest" Sypha said.

Her voice quickly snapped you out of your daydream as you focused your attention back to her. You tilted your head, gaze roving up and down her slumped form. You quirked a single eyebrow.

"Are you sure? You look like shit."

"Feel like it too" she added with a small laugh. She waved her hand. "I'll be fine. You need rest too."

You shrugged. "Alright."

You weren’t going to pass up this opportunity. As much as you loved to mess with Trevor, sleep was calling for you and you were hard pressed to deny it. You rolled into the back of the cart, landing in an undignified heap with a loud thud. You had planned your transition to be a little smoother than that and you winced when your head hit solid wood.

“Ouch” you mumbled, rubbing the sore spot on your head.

You gathered yourself, crawling to the other side of the cart until you were seated across from Alucard. You took a moment to silently study him. You could never really get over his otherworldly beauty. From the moment you first met him, you had become entranced. Golden locks framed his pale face, his eyes pools of molten gold that could pierce straight through your soul. The fact that he was a dhampir didn’t bother you. It took all kinds of people to make this world spin and you weren’t exactly one to judge a book by its cover. Your eyes narrowed slightly as you tilted your head. It looked as though he wasn’t even aware of you staring at him. His gaze was distant, like he wasn't even in this realm anymore. 

"What are you thinking over there, broody?" you asked.

Your question was able to snap him out of his daze as his gaze settled on you. His lips were pressed into a tight thin line, his eyes narrowing only slightly at your question.

"I'm not brooding" he replied.

You couldn't even get a twitch of his lips. He wasn't always receptive to your humour, unlike Trevor. Sypha had mentioned that you two got along like a house on fire. You also got along with the Speaker quite well. She had a good sense of humour and occasionally added her own snark to your witty banter. Seeing their smiles and hearing their laughter made you happy. But Alucard was different. He was like a bottomless well. The darkness would swallow up anything you threw at it. It didn't stop you from trying to thaw Alucard's icy exterior. 

You roll your eyes. "Alright, don't get your frosty knickers in a twist. I'm just trying to have some fun."

His frown only deepened, his brows knitting together as he gave you an incredulous look. 

"What did you just call me?"

It was like he couldn't believe what had just left your mouth. Though he really shouldn't have been surprised. During the short time he had known you, he came to learn that you were...different than most people. Your outlook on life was certainly refreshing. Upon first glance he had initially thought you and Trevor were related. Some part of him was glad it wasn’t true. He didn’t know if he could deal with another Belmont.

You opened your mouth to respond but Trevor cut in. 

"She's right, Alucard" he called over his shoulder. "Loosen up. That year in your coffin has left you as stiff as a corpse."

You politely tried to cover up your laughter behind your hand. It didn’t work well as your shoulders started to shake as you couldn’t stifle your giggles. Alucard glared at the Hunter.

"I don't like your tone, Belmont" he hissed.

You decided to interject before this conversation could lead to an argument which would likely result in a brawl. Lucky that those two had you and Sypha to mediate or you were sure they’d kill each other before they reached Dracula’s castle.

"Lighten up. We’re just trying to thaw out that frosty exterior” you chimed. “You can’t be serious all the time. Just relax. You’re in good company.”

To your surprise Alucard relaxed at your words, his tense shoulders visibly dropping. He drew his eyes back to you as you smiled brightly at him.

“You and I are going to have so much fun, pretty boy."

He blinked slowly, staring at you with a deadpan expression settled over his features. "I am ever so enthralled with what the coming days have to offer."

Your eyebrows almost shot up to your hairline as you gasped with delight. "Was that sarcasm? Aww Alucard, you're already starting to warm up to me."

Sypha cut your conversation short when she yelled over her shoulder.

“Less talking, more sleeping.”

“Yes mother” you shot back with a pointed roll of your eyes.

You shook your head. She was right. You should probably be sleeping. You’d have to put your banter on hold for now. You grabbed a folded blanket from the pile in the back, pulling it over your body. You took your coat off next, bundling it up and using it as a temporary pillow. You took a moment to get comfortable on the hard floor of the cart. You could feel every bump and dip in the road that jostled your body.

After a moment of staring at the cotton canopy above your head your eyes slipped closed. Alucard silently watched over you as you drifted off to sleep. Eventually your breathing started to even out. He watched the gentle rise and fall of your chest, his keen ears picking up the sound of your heart beating just underneath your skin. He stared for a long time, simply puzzling over you. Perhaps you weren't a riddle that could be easily solved.

A ghost of a smile graced his lips. He was stuck with a drunk, a magician and a bard as his companions. 


End file.
